It started off in the mall. I don’t know the name of the mall, but it resembled two malls that i’ve been to often.
There was a picture booth. Similar to ones that you’d use during Christmas to get a picture with Santa. Except there was no Santa, and it was just simply a place where someone would take your picture. I went with a girl that I have a crush on in college. But then I saw my pseudo- girlfriend/ whatthefuckarewe? and all I could think about was how much I loved her and wanted her. But she just stood in the line. We looked at each other, and I think my face did that thing where it was trying to say “I’m sorry” and “maybe next time” at the same time.
Then I get a weird feeling. I don’t know if it’s from her or from my own heart, but it felt weird. All of a sudden, someone said to release the alligators and crocodiles. And lo and behold, alligators and crocodiles infested the mall, which all of a sudden turned into a library. The reptiles bit my college crush, but for some reason I didn’t really care and I felt kind of invincible as they didn’t bite me. But my time came and a crocodile bit me and I ran after punching it in the face to get it off. Next thing I know I see a plethora of animals just running after people for no reason. I remember seeing a miniature Rhinoceros. Not a baby one, an adult midget one. It ran through a big aquarium that was in the middle of the library and all the water and fish came out. I’m pretty sure there was a zebra and hyena.
After that I just sat in a comfy chair like the ones in my college library and just watched shit go down. Then someone called me on my phone…
It awesome when you hear the love of your life sing to/for you.
I’m watching a video of hear singing “Lullaby” and imagining that she’s serenading me. And it just makes me feel awesome.
Thanks, love <3
Isn’t it weird when you learn something from school that is completely relevant to your life?
For the first week of college, I have been busy with parties and orientation events. But just now (during the first week of actual classes) I have started to think about my ex girlfriend. Fuck, I even cried to my roommates about it last night fml. But thats a different story.
What sucks is that I’ve been given a bunch of reading, and I hate reading. But what’s awesome is that the first reading I had to do for my psychstat class is totally relevant to my situation with my ex.
In essence, the cognitive dissonance theory means that there is a level of dissonance or harmony between two ideas that a person has. I have to write a short paper (only 250 words thank the lord) on it, but the prompt says to “explicate how dissonance theory derives the prediction that ‘we come to love that for which we freely suffer.’”
Holy shit, I do love her! but wait… she’s done all those bad things to me. There’s the two ideas. I can say that I have two ex’s but they are both the same person. There is the idea of the sweet one and the idea of the fucked up one, i.e. ideas A and B.
The theory suggests that despite the obvious dissonance between what a person believes and the person’s actual situation, the person will illude (apparently not a word…) himself to the idea that he or she IS happy even when they’re not.
And this is my situation, folks. I am so obsessed with the idea of the perfect her that I forget about the real her. I’ve forgotten about her reality. I’ve forgotten about my reality.
The cool thing is that I got the prompt after my first class, then cried about my fuckface ex later that night without understanding the prompt. This morning, after some mourning, I finally sat down to read some more about cognitive dissonance, and lo and behold! This is my life. For some reason I get a lot of comfort knowing that whatever I’m going through actually has a scientific term. Makes me happy.
Oh, college, I think we’re gunna have a swell time together.